Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Still

I'm not over it.

I'm not.

On Monday night, a co-worker lost her step-dad to a sudden heart attack. She hugged me on Tuesday morning before I knew anything had happened and said she'd been thinking about me. She told me about her step-dad and talked about how sudden and surreal the whole experience had been. The surrealism made her think of me.

It's such a strange thing.

I get it now. I can comprehend that Laurie and I will never talk, laugh, hug, or hang out again for the rest of my life.

But thinking back to it...the events still seem unreal.

Tonight, as I led myself into a "Let's-depress-the-hell-outta-Drew" tour de force, I felt pieces of the emotions linked to those events all over again.

For some reason I listened to "Cold Water", "The Beautiful Letdown", and "Close Your Eyes" in a row.

That lineup is pretty much the emotional equivalent of dropping a cinder block on your balls.

And that was my day.

6 Comments:

Blogger Anna P said...

DB... =(

January 25, 2006 12:03 AM  
Blogger Jackie R. said...

:( is exactly what I came here to say...

January 25, 2006 12:14 AM  
Blogger Femmie82 said...

Drew,

I've commented a few times on Barb's blog, but never on yours. When I read this entry though, it kinda hit home. Two years ago I lost a very close relative. She passed away in her jeep while driving home from work. Totally unexpected, no goodbyes...no chance to fix any regrets I might have. I just wanted to say that, while I don't claim to understand everything you're going through, I know a few of the emotions well. And I'm sorry...sorry that anyone should feel such incredible loss.

Keeping you in prayer,
F.

January 25, 2006 7:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

drew, I have never dropped a cinder block on my balls...but I am really sorry that you are having a day filled with painful (but welcomed) memories. I am really sorry

January 25, 2006 8:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it possible to send a cyber hug?
Much love, DownTown Drew Brown.
Nothing more, nothing less.
-smiley

January 25, 2006 11:50 AM  
Blogger Anna P said...

I like instant messaging. It's fun because you don't have to wait for the other person to respond and you can interupt without getting in trouble for it.

January 25, 2006 5:00 PM  

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