Sunday, January 22, 2006


(Before I get into this, HOLY CRAP Kobe Bryant. Some perspective...81 points is 12 more than Michael Jordan ever scored in a game. I'm not a Kobe fan, but 81 points is remarkable.)

Once in a blue moon, I miss the days of working on FAST....aka the Facility Set up Team at Willow.

Until I landed at the job I'm currently holding down, I considered the FAST night shift to be the crème de la crème in my otherwise forgettable job history. Actually, working at a nursing home in Long Grove with Alzheimer's patients had some cool moments...but that's for a different post.
I actually liked my job at Willow. I liked cleaning. I liked the conversations I'd have with the 'bathroom crew'. Sometimes the topic was heavy (evolution vs. creation) and sometimes it was light (80's movies vs. 90's movies). But it was usually a good time.

It's easy to remember my first night of work at Willow. It was September 10, 2001. I cleaned the stairs with Jim Gavula. I didn't go to work the next night.

I went all the way through the last week of March 2004.

2 1/2 years of cleaning poop-laden toilets, vaccuuming gum-stained carpets, wiping down crumb-filled atrium tables, replacing stank-ass female....things, and when called upon peering into the depths of hell. It was messy work, but dammit somebody had to do it.

For a while, we had a poop culprit.

In the lower level women's bathroom near the west entrance, an enormous turd would be left in a toilet once a week for the night crew to discover. How enormous you ask? I frequently compare the length and girth to fast food ketchup and mustard bottles. You know...these. What's also disturbing is that the turd was usually sans TP. Whatever ungodly creature produced this literal piece of shit felt no need to clean its

In honor of my time with the night shift, I thought I'd post a Bud Light commercial dedicated to those who worked thankless hours caring for Willow's potties.

If you're a former (or current) night crew FAST worker, take a bow won't you?


Blogger Jackie R. said...

Well... I am honored to be the first to step up and take a huge bow... Ok, I'm not sure if "honored" is the word. Regardless, I'm here to represent!

January 23, 2006 2:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope they find the pooooo bandit. Maybe there could be a 24 season all about tracking down the poo bandit...Drew you could play the role of Jack. That would be cool

January 23, 2006 9:19 AM  
Anonymous jims-sister-anna said...

According to my brother's resume, he was a "facility maintenance crew supervisor." There was no mention of poop. Perhaps, though, this story explanes why he's working for a plumber now.

January 23, 2006 9:46 AM  
Anonymous Jenna Humphreys said...

hell yeah i'll take a bow as i plan to return for my coming up on 4th year on fast.

January 23, 2006 1:09 PM  
Blogger vbt said...

I was never part of the FAST crew, but can I just say THANK YOU to all of you that are/were?!?!

thank you.

January 23, 2006 4:36 PM  

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