Friday, May 27, 2005

Dreams

So I had a dream about Laurie earlier today during an extended nap. I actually think I had dreamt about her a while back, but I have no real recollection of it. Then again, we dream every night...but usually we don't remember it. So who knows how many dreams I've had about her since she died?

Anyway, I remember this one pretty clearly. Like most dreams, it was very strange in some ways and it was way too short. It was just her and I in a fast food parking lot...and for some reason I think it was the parking lot of a Taco Bell/Pizza Hut combo that's close to the place I work. Completely random.

It was daytime and the weather was hot and sunny. We were just standing there, talking and laughing. I have no idea what we were laughing about, or what our topic of conversation was. It was just fun to be with her and it was great to laugh again like we did countless times. It felt so real.

Here's the weirdest thing though...the dream took place in present day. So as we were talking, I knew she had already died. It was like I was connecting with her soul and she was just about to go to heaven.

So the laughter started to fade and I realized she was about to leave. It was heartbreaking. I started to cry....AND THEN I WOKE UP. How freaking lame is that? Then again, it kinda reflects one of the hardest things about all this...I never had the chance to say good-bye. And the dream didn't really give me that chance either. I got to laugh with her again, and remember how special she was, but I still haven't had the good-bye.

Maybe next time.

3 Comments:

Blogger shelly said...

Drew,
I hate those kind of dreams you do not want to wake up, but then it just happens and you try to fall back to sleep but you can't.
Shelly

May 27, 2005 7:30 AM  
Blogger justagirl said...

i had a dream about her awhile back that I didnt remember til a few days later. It was similar in that, while in it, I knew that she wasn't alive. She came running up, laughing and smiling, calling me Jock and whatever, talking alot. At first I was excited, and then I was just angry and kept pushing her away cuz it felt so cruel cuz like i said, i knew she wasn't really alive. I dont know what that means. But for that time that she was being the typical fun laurie, i loved it and wished obviously, that it wasnt just a dream. man, she was great.

May 28, 2005 1:15 AM  
Blogger thisdesertlife said...

I don't think you ever get to or have to say goodbye. The rest of your human life may seem a long time to be without Laurie but your reunion in heaven will be forever. So is goodbye really necessary?

Hugs,
Missy

May 28, 2005 9:47 PM  

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