Sunday, April 03, 2005

Thursday Friday & Saturday

I've been thinking a lot about March 2nd, 3rd, and 4th today and wanted to write about what those days were like for me personally. I know there's a lot of you that don't want to re-live those moments and I'm right there with you. But it's been consuming my mind lately and I just wanted to document those 3 horrible days. Also, there's still a lot of people asking me questions about everything that's happened so I wanted to use my blog to give a recap of the events surrounding Laurie's death. If you don't want to read on, I completely understand. I also apologize for using a timeline because I know those are gross right now too.

(all times are approximate and I may slip in and out of past I give a crap)

Thursday 3.3.05

6:15am Barb leaves a message on my cell phone and tells me that Laurie is missing and asks if I had seen her or talked to her or had any idea where she was.

8:15am I listen to the message and call the house to speak to Pete or Barb. Kristin answers and the tone of her voice tells me that this is really bad. She tells me that Pete and Barb are at the police station and will be returning soon. My worry level increases.

8:45am Pete calls me on my way to work and gives a more detailed explanation of what's going on. We tell each other that we'll be in touch. Worry level increases again.

9:00am Get to work and tell people what's going on. No one seems all that worried because she hadn't been gone that long and it sounded like she'd show up eventually. But I knew something was wrong. This is when I start thinking about abduction.

10:00am-12:00pm Feeling helpless and not being able to concentrate on work at all, I call Pete regularly for updates. No news. Time keeps passing and nothing is getting better.

12:30pm-1:30pm I had a lunch scheduled with my friend Megan because she was leaving on the 5th for a missions trip that would take her into at least September, if not longer. It was supposed to be our time to say goodbye to each other but all we could talk or think about was Laurie.

2:00pm-4:00pm I want to be there with Pete and Barb but the house was crazy enough so I tell Pete I'll hang back and see him tomorrow. I call my friend Tiffany at the University of Wisconsin-Madison on the off chance that Laurie had gone up to see her and not told anyone. Tiffany calls later and tells me she hasn't seen or talked to Laurie. She's clearly shaken up and tells me she's coming home.

5:00pm My friend Kelly calls me and asks me what's going on (I had e-mailed him in the morning). I tell him everything I know and he offers to hang out if I just need to be with friends. I quickly accept his offer.

6:00pm-12:00am Hanging out with Kelly and Amy, I get several phone calls from anyone asking for information or if I know what the hell's going on. I know nothing because there is nothing new to know. I talk to Tiffany about driving over together to Pete and Barb's in the morning.

Friday 3.4.05

9:00am Laurie has been missing for now 2 full nights. Worry level increases again. I show up for what was supposed to be my last full day of work. I tell everyone that she's still missing and all of the sudden they're worried too. I check e-mails, connect with people about what's happening, and get the hell outta there.

10:00am I pick up Tiffany and we head over to Pete and Barb's. As we get there we see the WGN news van on the street. Oddly enough, the moment we walked in and hugged Barb was shown on the news at noon. What an awful reason to be on TV.

10:30am-12:30pm Spending time at the house with family and friends and just try to make sense of everything. Everyone at the house is just in total shock and figuring out what to do next. Greg and Chris are stallions in networking laptops together to set up the command center. As awful images come into my head about where Laurie is I can't help but think of the movie Mystic River.

12:30pm-3:00pm Tiffany, Stephanie Pelka (whose family has been lifelong friends with Laurie's), and I run out to Kinko's and get 100 Missing Person flyers printed up. We spend the next couple hours posting the flyers in Starbucks, train stations, Jewels, and Dominicks in the area. I drop Tiffany off and go home.

5:00pm I get a call from Megan asking me if I heard anything. I tell her I don't know anything new but she says she does. She tells me that Laurie's shoes and jacket have been found at the Shedd Aquarium. I call my friend Stephanie to confirm the information. She tells me that cops are monitoring calls and that she can't tell me over the phone. She tells me to get to the house and she can tell me. I remember how heavily I was breathing on the way to the house, but trying to keep it together. I call Tiffany on the way and tell her there is no info but that it might be better to talk in person. We agree to meet at the house.

5:30pm I arrive at Pete and Barb's and Stephanie confirms what Megan had told me, except that it was the Planetarium and that they had found her keys, cell phone, and car as well. BAD. I call Kelly to tell him that I have bad news but couldnt share it over the phone. He understands and tells me to call him as I'm on my way to his house. Tiffany and her fiance arrive and I tell them that Laurie's things had been found.

6:30pm Greg assembles us all to give as an update of where everything stood. He starts breaking down when he thanks us all for being there. I start to tear up. He tells us that Laurie is not past tense yet. I don't remember much else of what he said because my head was spinning. Everyone in the house gathers to pray and I just lose it. I start bawling. I don't cry easily but I couldn't stop. As much as I wanted to hold out hope, I assumed she was gone.

7:00pm Still sobbing, I hug Pete and Barb and tell them I'm leaving and that I'll see them tomorrow. They're crying harder than I am. I walk to my car and call to tell Kelly I'm coming over soon.

7:15pm I stop by my house and cry in my mom's arms. I told her that they had found Laurie's things. It's amazing how good it felt to run to my mom and cry on her shoulder. Like no matter how old we get, that never changes. I was sure that Laurie had been murdered and I was ready to slit the throat of the person who was responsible.

7:30pm-12:30am I get to Kelly and Amy's and tell them the latest news. I don't even remember what we did that night. I know we talked for a long time. I think I ate comfort food. Shamrock shakes may have been involved. Other than that, I don't remember much. Anything to numb the pain. Maybe a Simpsons episode or two.

Saturday 3.5.05

9:30am I receive a voice mail from Stephanie. She's crying and tells me to call her as soon as I can. My stomach drops. I call her back and she tells me I need to get to Pete and Barb's ASAP. I throw clothes on and leave right away.

10:00am About a minute away from the house, I call Eve to see where she is. She tells me that she's at home but she knows. At that point I had known it was bad but I didnt know anything for sure. I park at Stephanie's house down the block and sprint to the house. I walk in through the garage door and see Katie with a couple people. I brace myself and asked "what happened?" or "what's going on?". Katie hugs me and tells me "Drew, Laurie killed herself." Standing there hugging Katie I must have said "oh my God" a dozen times. I never say "oh my God". I asked how they knew for sure and she told me they found a note. I didn't cry, I just started breathing very heavily. I felt physically weak. Barb later told me that I had no color in my face and looked transparent. Then I can't remember if I went outside next or in to see Pete and Greg. I think I found Stephanie and went outside with her for a few minutes. Barb came out and hugged me and was crying as hard as she had been the night before. After a few minutes outside, I went back in and found Pete. As we hugged he was crying and said "I'm sorry. I wanted to call you but I'd knew you'd be here." I said "No, don't even say that." Then I went into Pete's office where Greg was working on his laptop. I think I remember saying in a very quivery voice "Greg, what happened?" He hugged me and started crying and said "I don't know man". I sat down in Pete's office as Pete walked in and shut the door. Then Greg read me parts of the suicide letter. I won't share that on here. After that I remember Tiffany eventually getting there and hugging her. I also remember my friends Mark and Aimee showing up soon after. Not long after that, we got word that they had located Laurie's body. We all eventually left at 1:00pm which was time reserved for immediate family.

1:00pm-End of the day I hung out with Mark and Aimee and Kelly and Amy for the rest of the day. We went to Portillo's/Panda Express and later played video games at Kelly's house. What a horrible fuckin day.

So that's my recollection of the three most surreal, horrible days of my life. I'm sorry it's not very well written. I just spilled it all onto my keyboard without concern for how it sounded.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Drew- Your rawness and your love for Laurie just touch me. Barb shared your blog site with us girly-girls, so I am now a blog stalker. This whole thing just doesn't make sense to me- I am glad to hear I'm not alone in that. Please know that you are part of my daily prayers, as I can't even imagine how much you are hurting right now. I know we hardly know each other, but if you ever need an impartial listening ear or friend, don't hesistate to let me know.
Love in Christ,
Lisa Wisniewski

April 04, 2005 1:35 PM  
Blogger Bigger than Me said...

I've read this post about a dozen times now, each time crying a bit less. I've got no words, just that I love you, and I'm glad that our heads work in the same "get it all out there" kind of way.

April 04, 2005 2:42 PM  
Anonymous fe said...

It is with heavy sighs and tears that I write this...I can sense your deep sense of loss, and agonize along with you...not at the same level of course, but when a friend of mine hurts, I hurt with them. I don't think it's gross that you've 'time-lined' the events...I think it's part of the grieving process and helps the healing along the way. I haven't told you this yet, but a boyfriend of mine from back in the 1970s (we were 14 years old!) killed himself too. He had taken his grandfather's car which was reported stolen, the police spotted him driving the car, a chased started, and it ended with Greg putting a shotgun into his mouth and pulling the took a long time for me to get over the shock and horrifying details, and to stop crying. It just takes a long long time to remember all the good times and wonder 'why why why'? But eventually, time will heal the pain so it is no longer as intense.

You are blessed with many friends who love you (I add myself to that list)...and along with your family & friends, I will be praying you through this difficult and very sad time. And will always lend you my ear when you just want to shoot the breeze, talk about Laurie, not talk about Laurie, talk about our Cubbies (who are currently kicking the Dback's butts all over Banc One), talk about God and spiritual matters...whatever your heart desires.

love and blessings,

PS. I told you once, and I'll tell you again, you were an awesome friend to Laurie.

April 04, 2005 6:37 PM  
Blogger JHumps said...

drew, no words that i write here, will make up for what you've gone through. nothing that i can say will take away the constant pain. but i thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your experience. continue to be real.

April 04, 2005 11:10 PM  
Blogger Jackie R. said...

So, yeah - it's 2014, been 9+ years but Laurie was on my mind tonight. Ugh, this post brought me back and to tears! You are a great writer and a great person :)

June 18, 2014 11:14 PM  

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