Tuesday, March 29, 2005

More Processing Part III

My anger has taken a leave of abscence...at least for now. I'm still attending The Church of Eminem but that's because I'm a participating member. I'm no longer exclusively listening to songs like "Kill You", for example.

It's been very interesting dealing with all these emotions at the same time. I've learned a lot about myself and that is a cool thing. Being pissed off feels good in spurts, but it gets far too heavy if you carry it for longer than you should. I don't know whether or not to expect the anger to return, and if so to what extent.

I also think anger can cloud so many others emotions you can be feeling at one time. And now that my anger has gone away, I feel like it's made more room for pure sadness. I'm surprised that I'm feeling this degree of sadness nearly a month after everything happened. That makes me wonder if I'll feel an even deeper sadness a little further down the line? Will it plateau? This is just so unlike anything I've ever experienced before that I don't have any sort of blueprint for what I should be feeling and when.

You can expect Part IV of this very soon.


Blogger Barb K said...

I understand your sadness; it's hard when you hear from others it will get worse before it gets better. Uck! And I am happy for you that the anger is subsiding. It was good to have you over here last night and I pray that the journal entries I had you read were helpful.
Our shared irreverant humor is sort of cleansing, don't you think? Thanks too for the hilarious video from the Sullivan's with Laurie at their New Year's Eve party. What a weirdo.

Love you, Drew.


March 30, 2005 7:14 AM  

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