Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Dating

Here's a post everyone can enjoy.

With so many questions right now about God and what He wants for me and expects of me, I can't help but have some major questions about dating as well.

Before I continue I wanna be clear that this is not any kind of hidden message to any one person because what I say may get a little confusing. These are questions about what may have been relationsal missteps on my part and figuring out what to change for the future. So please, don't read into it too personally. And if any of my close guy friends want to help me wrestle through some of this stuff, by all means, let me know.

I feel like I'm slowly gaining maturity when it comes to the idea of dating, and who to date (or not date), why to date, etc. But I'm struggling with all of that right now because I wonder if it's right to enter into a relationship with someone when I have such major questions about God.

Now, the good thing (or bad thing depending on how you look at it) is that there isn't a girl right now that I'm close to dating, or even totally interested in dating. So I have a little breathing room to figure this stuff out.

I think the main question I'm asking myself right now is am I too precise in what I want? Have I let some great opportunities slip by because something wasn't perfect right off the bat or maybe because I felt uncertainty about some small, stupid, unimportant thing. I think it's great to know what you want, but I think you can be too picky too...

This probably explains why I don't really date all that often. Well, that and the odor. But for real, I'm not one of these guys who is dating a different girl every 5 minutes and I think a lot of that comes from being really careful about it. I mean I love getting to know new people, but it really takes a big step for me to say 'Yes, I want to date this girl'.

I've told some of my friends about this theory that I have. The theory says that right now everyone is in love except me (awwwwww). It's really ok. But odds are, if you're reading this sentence of this blog, that you're in love with someone. Yes, I know it's probably not everyone. But I know I'm getting to the age where people are starting to get engaged, get married, and GET IT ON.

Would I be one of those people if I wasn't so damn selective? Maybe I should just date whoever the hell I want, right? The rules I've lived by for the past 4 years or so don't seem to be a smashing success, so what's stopping me? Or what about Non-Committal Make Outs (NCMO's)? Are those really that bad? Why don't I just do whatever I want, whenever I want, and trust that in the end it'll all work out?

Alright, I'm going a little overboard. But I'm wondering right now what is stopping me from questioning the dating guidelines when I'm really questioning the life guidelines.

Have I ever broken up with someone for a dumb reason? I'd say so. Would I still be with them today? Probably not, but who knows?

Should I take more chances? Should I be more adventurous? Should I throw caution to the wind?

And why is it that we often get sick of the people we're dating, but we never get sick of our friends? So many times I've gotten into relationships and gotten bored right away. This is not good. But why do we never get bored with friendships? Does this mean we should look more closely at why we're friends with someone and what it could look like to date them? Or is that asking for trouble?


So many questions!


Help.






4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

NCMO's...funny. ;-) Don't lower your standards Drew. I love who YOU are..and don't change that either. But about the relationship with God thing..in my opinion I think its really important to have that straight before you get into a relationship.

I respect you Drew. What if you had been more open to who you dated...hmmm. :-)I guess its pretty obvious that God has His way of planning things.

February 08, 2005 8:53 AM  
Blogger Casey S said...

Drew, I read your blog! See, it's not that I don't want to, I'm just not in the habit! I should put a daily reminder on my outlook calendar!

I never think lowering your standards is a good idea. I know a lot of the people you are referring to as being "in love" and I don't think any of them lowered their standards.

But, I think my idea of the perfect guy for me changed when I met Matt. I thought I wanted someone just like me (can you imagine?!) and then I met Matt and my ideas, not my standards, changed. I haven't started dating anyone in 10 years, so what do I know, but I would encourage you to keep your mind open to different kinds of girls.

You're such a fun, quality guy. I know you'll find an amazing girl someday.

February 08, 2005 10:50 AM  
Blogger tory dolan said...

Hey Drew...

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in your questions/quests about dating and positioning with God. Also just wanted to let you know, you are not alone in the "not in love" category as well.

Anyway, I agree with Casey... As far as changing "ideas", not standards. I also think that your relationship with God, your view of God, may directly relate to your views on dating. This may not necessarily be true, and this is also coming from a female perspective... but those are my thoughts.

This isn't making a whole lot of sense... Guess all this to say, you're not alone in your questioning. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, dude!

February 08, 2005 3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew, you're my favorite. You're a really cool dude. God has his plan for you, stick with it. I know you don't understand whats going on now and why things are the way they are...but just give it time and you will soon find a person to love.

I made no sense. haha. Bye...Jerk! *hugs*

February 16, 2005 10:04 PM  

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